Sunday, January 24, 2010

Snow, going, going, gone . . .

20 days ago we had over two feet of snow. Now the promise of 47 degrees, mud and matted grass. Today will be a good day for walking. Open the windows to air the house out a bit too. In a matter of 24 hours, the weather promises to be bitter cold again-- winter as we know it in Western NY. We usually have wild storms in February and March, so this reprieve must be relished.

Today, I'm at last feeling better. Last dregs of my cold show up when I start laughing and that hitches to a terrible coughing jag. I must be suppressing the cough through shallow breathing, and laughing makes me take gulps of air-- a near death experience laughing and coughing at the same time-- I sound like a squeeze box!

Today will be a baking and cleaning and writing and walking and reading and painting day. Yesterday I paid all of my bills !! Nothing is lurking around the corner, which is a huge relief.
In this recession, agencies and individuals have delayed paying me for contract work. In business, especially when cash flow is tight, the vendors can become the bank, and consequently wait more than 60,90, 120 days to get paid for their services (sounds a bit like waiting to hear about submissions, doesn't it). Unfortunately, I over-anticipate the money, appointing it to pay this and that and that, when in truth it can only cover this. And when the checks finally arrive and I do a jig in the kitchen, I know I can start clearing out the bills and then something major happens like the car . . . It's my one ambition to get my head up and out of the water and swimming forward. Right now I'm standing flat-footed with water up to my lips. Will 2010 see me swimming? That's the plan.

But today, I'm feeling relieved because everything is in order. Linked to this I've been thinking about my productivity. My productivity depends on inspiration, intrigue, awareness of my life in action . . .With a cold, none of these things happen with verve. I think I used 8 boxes of lotion treated tissues in the past 25 days. My cold was consuming me. I would begin the day strong and wilt by early evening. So everything I have been doing has been a bit slower than usual, or so it seems.

Now to begin this day . . .

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